I was chatting with one of my friends on Facebook, 2 days back. Earlier, he used to address me as Bhai; now Bhai was replaced by mate and this happened in 1 month. Just a month long tour could make him forget our desi lingo, I wondered… or did I encounter another ‘Desi Bandar’ again! Nevertheless, you can’t argue with friends. Especially with someone who is kind of close to you and is super-excited after his return from a foreign land. In his case, the land was Australia as most of you might have guessed.

Not targeting him in this post, I want to put forward a general ‘Indian’ viewpoint. We Indians are so willing to lose our identity every time we migrate to a foreign land. But then suddenly our identity, our Indian-ness comes hitting back when diplomats like Devyani Khobragade are strip searched and humiliated. Is the sole purpose of representation of one’s State on the shoulders of the diplomat? Don’t we have a moral obligation of representing our ‘Indian’ selves when we travel to a foreign nation so that people take us seriously?

There’s a popular phrase which goes:

‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do.’

Has anyone ever wondered what did the Romans do when they migrated to other parts of Europe? They behaved like Romans only. Why are we then always more than willing to change our lifestyles, our outlook in a foreign nation? Are we ashamed of our identity? Is belonging to an economically-developing-culturally-wealthy nation bad? Will everything Indian always be second class to say German, Japanese or American…or even if superior, would it always be looked at, with a dubious eye?

One flight to US, 1 month in the States and we are saluting the Statue of Liberty and crying when we return back. A majority of us complain about the sorry state of administration, the widespread corruption and what not. Let me take a wonderful example of ‘Bandarpana’ at this point. We have many Punjabis migrating to USA, ‘Knneddaa’ (Canada) especially friends from our Sikh community. My friends, my dearest friends, friends belonging to the simplest of Pinds  in India. Most of them are even alien to city life. They live a pure life, talk simple, eat hearty and wear kurta pyjama. When they are exposed to foreign air, a physical reaction takes place. First, they lose their turban, then they lose their head and post both transformations they become the true Canadians, gorging on hamburgers, day and night.

They do sometimes visit India after accumulating enough wealth over the year. Then they give an account of big things, making them sound even bigger. Why do we take so much pride in another country’s development…we are not even treated as welcome citizens there.

Lately, we had this wedding season in November and early December. There was observed a conspicuous change in wedding wear. The traditional red/pink saris were replaced by gowns. Men too were forced to switch over to suits from sherwanis and kurtas. I am not against a cosmopolitan attitude in every domain. But a backless gown at auspicious functions such as reception of the bride by her in-laws is too much! And then, how can we miss bending our backs to touch the feet of elders. It would seem so rude and non-Indian. I wonder what blessings would escape out of trembling hands and shocked faces, on seeing their daughter-in-law attracting the much wanted bridal attention to unwanted areas. Added to this, the videographer is having the time of his life. He is seen doing his job even more efficiently, zooming in and out rapidly. See what a great ‘Monkey Show’ we put before the crowd to see. Even the drivers having chaat in the unseen corner can make out:

‘Bhabhiji bahar se aai hain.’