Fish ‘n’ Butter Chicken: The Kurta Affair.

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Hi folks!

          This post is for all those who just like me, like to fall in love OR like to have that feeling, this time round when the winter is setting in and we have the autumn season dying out. Warm bubbles of love seem to be floating in the cooler air. Read on LOVERS!

This is not a work of fiction. Characters described in this event may bear strong resemblance to two living persons.

I was sifting through the new range of kurtas, the Ranbir Kapoor ones in fashion nowadays.

“Don’t try this one! Go for this”, boomed a high pitched voice. There was both caution and concern in her tone.

I had absolutely no intention of buying any. But she made me feel so good about myself, that I was forced to reconsider.

Picking a maroon kurta from the display stand, she thrust it against my chest to see if it suited.

Bad move! I am allergic to feminine touch. I can talk about really intimate things. I can tell someone even the best/worst of my fantasies (you know what I am talking about)…but when it comes to touch I back off at once. It seems too sacrosanct an action to me. A handshake is fine. A pat on the shoulders or back can be tolerated too but any other form of touch gets onto my nerves. I feel conscious of my bodily existence, each and every time without exception; don’t know when I am going to get over it.

Still as the scene goes…I lifted my eyes to acknowledge the person who had made this comment.

Bright, white shapely teeth…a slight hint of lip balm (those glittery ones)…her lips were naturally light pink…black framed spectacles…eyes didn’t have any kohl or mascara…THANK GOD…I HATE them! There was nothing very special about the eyes. Quite ordinary: normal lashes, normal shape.

But wait. Curly hair, check…extremely curly, check.

if(length== 80% of waistlength)
{

perfect;

}

No, this check failed. Length =60%…OK, satisfactory. The extra curls make up for it.

She was wearing a maroon kurta with borders at the neck line, nothing fancy. Below, she wore a slim fit jeans and sports shoes. It was funny but we were wearing the same shoes, only the string colour was different. Reebok all leather, black shoes with red laces; hers were with pink laces and a feminine cut of course.

She rose to my eye level in height. 5’6″ 5’7″ maybe. She had numerous accessories on her body which I would hate to describe. Attention to detail is a disease which I have and don’t like to spread. So, as I was putting her up for a dentist/engineer/model…etc. in my mind, she put an end to my curiosity in a second.

“I am from NIFT, FT stands for fashion technology.”

“But, excuse me…did I ask you?” echoed the voice inside my head.

“No, I thought that you would mind my comment on the kurta you just lifted for trial,” came her swift reply, observing my quizzical look and the implicit expression it suggested.

Believe me, I never mind beautiful girls, especially the ones with curly hair. And am I even listening when they paralyse me with their tongue, lips and glottis movements?…Yes, I am with double the attention.

“What would YOU suggest?” I retorted stressing on the ‘you’.

“You are not that fair.”

“I know that. I do not even classify myself as fair,” the voice inside me frowned.

“And this shade won’t suit you. Try this maroon one, no” she continued.

I hinted at her dress and then back at her face, suggesting a fallacy in the statement.

“Aah, I can wear anything and …….”

I think I heard ‘nothing’ soon after that…don’t know. I must be imagining things, didn’t quite follow up. But yes, she did say something ending with ‘ing’.

I have always been bad at selection and have a tough time picking and choosing things. Not that I know which one would suit me best. But I busy try to figure out where all I would be able to wear it. I decide most of my clothes according to my place of work/play and existence at large. Track pants always seem to check all criteria; maybe that’s why I have a fetish for them. And I need to stretch my legs every now and then. I need to dance, flex, jog/run; and they provide me with the complete freedom of movement. I love track pants. No wonder they called me the ‘pyjama boy’ at college and I loved the title. It is so me. Uniquely me. Only me.

I timidly, responded to her suggestion. She commanded authority.

She made me try 3 to 4 similar pieces. I had my heart on 2 of them.

Just when I was about to make the payment she said, “Wait, don’t buy! This is overpriced!” pointing to the tag.

I had wasted close to 1 hour on finalizing the 2 kurtas and now she was telling me to drop the idea altogether. I have this strange habit of picturing things well in advance. I could see myself flaunting the kurta on a windy weekend. A pair of blue jeans at the bottom…strolling down the road…hair partly flying and she smashed my colorful picture in a jiffy.

“Why? I like this and I will buy this,” I declared.

Arey! I will get you better ones from Fabindia and Pantaloons. They offer a wider and better range and their cotton is good, quite good. If you are buying expensive stuff then it’s better you buy the best!” she said in a single breath.

I looked at her. Still confused; I was confused because we had not even exchanged names and here she was, offering to accompany me for shopping…and MY SHOPPING not hers…a point to note guys.

“Sushmita”

“Nandu” I blurted out, preoccupied in these thoughts. “Sorry, Nandish!”

Sushmita laughed it off. She knew she had caught me noticing her face yet again.

We exchanged numbers and one good look at one another and then she left at once. She waved me goodbye from the see-through display. I didn’t know what to do. The hands assumed an identity of their own…and they rose. My cheeks rose too and I grinned and waved a heartfelt goodbye.

Loving the God in us.

Hello friends,

This post is especially for all the little kids and their lovely moms. Share it; read the story aloud to your naughty ones and let them spin their own web of imagination and morals!

The blog has been revamped with a refreshing theme and much better presentation, keeping in mind both the tablet and mobile users as well. But above all, we have a superb cartoonist ‘Tara Sethi’  here at our blog. It goes without saying that she is a Star!

Kyun re Mandir-Masjid ke chakkar roz lagata tu?

Bhagwaan to tere mann mein hai!

Tere karam mein hai!

Church mein moam-batti pighla-pighla ke kya karega?

Uska dil pighlaaega?

5 baari namaz padh ke kya karega…

Sheesh jhukaake, mattha tekk ke kya karega…

Jab tere dil mein hi khot hai!

Apne andar ko to saaf kar le pele o manas!

Doodh isse pila…dahi khila isse…

Moortiyon ne to khoob chakkh ke thook dia,

Iss bacche ki hi bhook mita de!

Shaitaan to tu pele se hi tha!

Ab shaitaan baccha hi bana le isse…

Vishnu to bheetar hi leta tha o pandit!

Vo bhi mitti ki chaadar odhe;

Ek ganga-jal mein dooba pohcha

Andar bhi laga deta…

                                              –    Nandish Malhotra

Once upon a time, there were 2 brothers Gopi and Kishan. Gopi was the elder of the two and was 5 years elder to Kishan. Their father was a gardener and owned the most fertile 5 acres of mango orchards, in the village. The trees bore the fruit in plenty. Not only that, their orchard was believed to bear the sweetest lot of the entire village produce.

After their father died, the land was divided such that 4 acres were allotted to Gopi and Kishan got the remaining acre. But Kishan never complained about the unfair division of land. He was happy and content with his share.

A year after their father died, the village Brahmins approached Gopi with a special request. They requested him to allocate a small piece of land to them so that they could build a Maha Lakshmi temple.

The head priest approached Gopi and whispered in his ears.

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“Gopi saab, Lakshmiji ka mandir banwaaoge to aap par khoob kripa hogi. Dhan ki varsha hogi.”

Gopi replied hesitatingly, “Lekin humein kaafi aam ke ped kaatne pdenge.Uski bharpai kaise hogi?”

“Saab, jo aam ki lakdi hogi…usse sukha ke hawan mein istemaal krenge. Mandir ki zameen se nikli hui lakdi ki aapko muh maangi keemat bhi milegi. Iske alava Lakshmiji ke mandir mein khoob chadawa chadhega. Usmein bhi sabse bada hissa aapka hoga.”

“Vo to theek hai, lekin chadawa ke paise rakhna kya theek baat hai?”

“Haan Gopiji bilkul, thoda bahut humein bhi daan karr dena, brahman ki dua lagegi.”

Gopi thought for a moment. He knew that all the villagers were big devotees of Goddess Lakshmi; he knew what exponential gains he could make by exploiting their beliefs. With a sly smile, he nodded his assent.

Just days after, an NGO Anjali approached Gopi with a much similar request.

The village head of Anjali had heard about the recent bestowment of land to the village Brahmins and he was optimistic about his request too.

“Gopiji humein aapke aam bageeche mein, ek chota sa primary school kholna hai, 8 saal tak ke bacchon ke liye. Aap chaahein to mandir ke hisse ki hi kuch zameen humein de dein. Lakshmi ji ki kripa bhi bacchon pe bani rahegi.”

Gopi replied shrewdly, “Par ismein humara kya faayeda hoga?”

Taken aback by his comment the head replied.

“Ji aapka hi kya, poore gaon ka faayeda hoga! Gaon ke bacche hissaab seekhenge; hindi aur angrezi ke akshar seekhenge aur padhenge, aage jaake bade officer banenge; aur aapko itni bacchon ki duaaen lagengi…fir aapka chota beta Chunnu bhi padh likh kar aapka naam roshan karega…aur uski padhai ki poori fees maaf hogi.”

Still unconvinced whether it was a profitable deal, Gopi asked for some time to think before coming to a decision.

In the evening, a letter addressed to the village head of Anjali was sent. It was terse and rude. There was a big ‘NO’ written in the centre of the parchment paper.

The head had no other option but to request the younger brother, Kishan. Accordingly, the very next day, he knocked at the door of Kishan’s humble cottage.

Kishan welcomed him inside and over a cup of masala chai, biscuits and namkeen, heard him out till the end. But as soon as the conversation was over, he expressed his apprehensions.

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“Pradhan saab mere paas kum hi zameen hai par agar aapko itne nek kaam ke liye chahiye to main zaroor ek chota hissa aapko dunga. Lekin meri 3 maangein hain – Munnu aur Munni dono hi aapke school mein padhenge; aur doosri ki school ki zameen ke liye, kum se kum aam ke ped kaate jaayein. Meri aakhri binti ye hai ki akshar aur hissaab ke saath saath bacchon ko ped paudhon aur pashu palan ka bhi gyaan diya jaaye jisse ki humaare gaon mein aur khushali aaye.”

A delighted village head readily nodded to all the conditions, Kishan demanded. He thanked him for his generosity and left very pleased.

Within few months, two major developments were noticed in the heart of the village. There were two display boards which read as follows.

Anjali – offering a great future… 🙂

The second display board read as follows.

Maha Lakshmi Mandir (with a note of thanks and appreciation in bold letters, addressed to Gopi Chander).

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                                                                                                                       ( to be continued…)

The concept of magnitude. – II

Yaar lagta hai sabse zyada chull meri bandi ko hi machh rhi hai.Nai nai job pe lagi nai ki isse pub mein flaming shots maarne hain!…rock concerts mein head banging karni hai!…abhi kuch mahine pehle yehi madam kehti thi…ghar pe jab hoti hun phone mat kia karo..mummy papa gussa karte hain…”    

– Anonymous.

On, the other end I couldn’t help smiling to myself…Babli mein potential to humesha se hi tha!

Hi people!

This is a sequel to my previous blog post

https://nandishmalhotra.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/the-concept-of-magnitude-andor-the-signs-do-not-matter/

As I said in my previous post and I iterate again…Magnitude is all that is important, the sign or the nature of it, is always subject to change.

Carrying on from my previous post, I would like to first put forth the dialogue I had with my high school computer teacher, who has been studying Vedic Logic for some time.

NOT-Gate

He questioned me, “Do you know Nandish, who invented the NOT gate?”

I said, “No sir.”

In came his reply, “Nandish…”

“I beg your pardon sir!”

“I mean, Lord Shiva.”

“But how, sir?”

“He used the NOT gate to transform Maha Gauri to Maha Kaali and vice versa.”

V0045118 Kali trampling Shiva. Chromolithograph by R. Varma.7-2

(I know many of you may argue with me on this. But since we are all not too sure about history, let’s just consider this a possibility. You would have to agree, both the Goddesses were very closely associated with Lord Shiva.)

He shot another question back at me, “What’s your take on this observation?”

“I think sir it’s only the magnitude which matters, you can always change the sign with the NOT gate.”

“Exactly!”,he beamed.

***

Fortunately, I have many friend groups. In almost each group we have a girl (yes, we do have some girls in each of my groups except for the Civil Dept. group from college!) who belongs to the stereotype – conservative ‘middle’ middle class family. She dreams of becoming a doctor/CEO/all other professions that promise both money and fame and don’t make her surpass her modesty levels. Yes the last criteria, is of supreme importance till she finally becomes one of the former 2 as listed.

And then…next is what? Suddenly her modesty levels are re-adjusted to suit her immediate society and of course she doesn’t like to stay with her parents.

The same girl who once was seen in the most conservative of dresses is seen flaunting the brand new tattoo on her lower back. You can well imagine what she must be wearing.

Now, picture this…did Bitti (…talked about above) change overnight? Did the new found freedom made her do so? Did she always picture herself as one she is now? Was she always waiting for the money and time to come…to live as a self-sustaining-socially-free girl?

Well, all of you would have different responses, but in consensus we would all agree she always had the potential to do such a thing…the magnitude was always there, it’s just the sign which got reversed.

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Girls like Bitti, in their 20 something life would often direct us, again and again, how drinking is bad…how attending late night parties is not so cool. But in another couple of years after graduation, you would find yourself declining the ‘binge’ party organised solely by her, coz you’ve got to go to work early the following day. (Bad luck!)

So, next time any girl/boy in you group starts with his discourse on ‘How to lead a simple, alcohol-and-fun free life…how he’s the epitome of an ideal student/person living the most scrupulous life one can imagine!…either bring him to me, in-person OR just make him read my blog post and make him mark today’s day’ because friends…he/she has a lot of magnitude…and yes it takes just a twitch to change the sign..;)

Good luck and have fun!

Hey guys! If you have any instances/life experiences to share with us, hit the comment box NOW!